Meet my pet … Peeve

Unless you are the Dalai Lama, most of us have those little bugaboos we find a bit annoying, a.k.a. pet peeves. I’d like to get some of mine off my chest:

Reserved parking signs for the employee of the month: On rainy days, you notice these reserved spots right in front of the entrance. If you are going to take a perfectly good guest spot out of use, tell us who the employee is and why s/he is so great. And if they are so great, I expect to see them with an umbrella when I park in back.

Employee of the month programs: Why not ring the acknowledgement bell daily? Recognizing one employee per month goes against good sense. People, teams and productivity accelerate with praise and cultures built on recognition.  

Cell phone etiquette: In close quarters, like planes, short and concise is considerate. No one cares about your hangover or Aunt Mary’s bursitis. Perhaps you could recite a poem instead.

Entrances: Stains on rugs before you enter a hotel or establishment tell you a lot about a place. Same goes for an ashtray that’s emptied but the chrome is not shiny. Makes me “wanna holler.” First impressions act like memes on the brain for the rest of the experience.

Position descriptions: Why do we name people after the furniture they stand next to? As in door(man), front desk (agent), bell(man). Seems to limit the potential of the interactions and inhibit professional development.

Shift talk: Staff that talks shop in front of you or continues their conversation as you approach. Oh, this is a big one. Peeve, fetch this bone of contention and bury it for good.

“Wet floor” signs: Is there a standard operating procedure that tells people to only partially dry the area and leave a yellow cone? Why not complete the job, play it safe and take the sign with you?

Marketing calls: What are the marketing programmers thinking when they begin the computer-generated call with a human name? “Hi. This is Sally calling to review your mortgage payment. …”

Cell phone voicemail prompts: They keep you on hold wasting your minutes through their spiel about “If you’d like to send a fax …” Is this really necessary? Why not, “If you’d like to send a postcard … ” “No, Peeve, not here. Bad dog.”

Killing self-expression: “Have a nice day” is robotic. Rather than telling people what to say, why not give them guidelines, as in, “When the guest leaves, make them feel fantastic.”

Lighting: Employ a female sensibility with bathroom lighting and mirrors. Makeup comes with tiny little brushes, so we need to get close to apply it so we don’t look like raccoons. And as for those overhead fluorescents? Ouch.

Okay, I feel better. Sometimes you just need to say, “Enough!”

And you? Got any pet peeves or bones to pick? Peeve always leaves a bone or two behind.